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Bachelor or bachelorette parties are meant to be a farewell to single life in the spirit of one who is happy to become part of a couple. They should not be seen as an obligation to behave indiscreetly.
The pre-nuptial party is intended to be carefree final fling before life as a single adult ends. Through the years many viewed the bachelor party as an excuse for wild behavior. Young grooms and groomsmen were often encouraged to behave irresponsibly. For a time, it seemed that brides and their cohorts were determined to wrecklessly compete. Restaurants, clubs and limo drivers often dealt with out of control pre-nuptial celebrants, while family members and the prospective spouse were embarrassed and less than amused.
The modern way
Happily, the trend is away from excessive behavior. Modern pre-nuptial celebrations focus on relationships of the celebrants rather than a hedonistic ritual farewell to freedom. It is once again in vogue to treat marriage as the new beginning it has always been. Such enlightened thinking couldn’t be more welcome.
Today couples define pre-nuptial fun in several different ways, including couples parties, weekend trips and activities of mutual interest. The best man and maid of honor are traditionally responsible for planning and hosting the bachelor and bachelorette parties, but good friends are also appropriate hosts. Often, the bridesmaids or groomsmen help cover costs of the party, which can be quite elaborate or a simple evening activity with friends at home.
A bachelor party can be as casual as a day with friends at a football or baseball game. Some guys enjoy the competition of paint ball followed by a pizza dinner. Golf outings or “bonding” weekends of camping, fishing or outdoor sports are very popular. Moderation in drinking is a good thing, but it’s still a fun idea to rent a limo to take out on the town so nobody has to worry about mixing drinking and driving.
Women frequently choose to pamper themselves. A luxurious “spa day” is a treat that also serves to prepare members of the wedding party for the big day. Home-grown pampering parties are as fun as they are affordable. You can bring in professionals for manicures, facials and massages. Or, guests can bring their own supplies and give themselves beauty treatments while enjoying each other’s company. A gal’s getaway overnight or weekend to a coastal resort or mountain retreat provides a change of pace/scenery and a great place for a group to let their hair down. In either situation, sipping champagne and nibbling on exotic edibles while sharing stories about the bride or playing games into the night seem in order.
Combination bachelor-bachelorette parties continue to gain popularity as they acknowledge friendships of both sexes. Whether the chosen party is a jetaway weekend in Vegas, a backyard luau, or something in between, combination celebrations seem to be a way for the bridal couple to say “we look forward to being a couple”.
Telephone calls are an acceptable method for extending invitations to a bachelor or bachelorette party. The invitation list should include the bridal party, very good friends, and future sisters or brothers-in-law. It is a bad idea to have this sort of rigorous celebration the night before the wedding, so schedule it for one or two weeks before the wedding. This way the bachelor/bachelorette parties will not interfere with wedding preparations or plans the bridal couple may have for time with out-of-town family members.
Bachelor or bachelorette parties are meant to be a farewell to single life in the spirit of one who is happy to become part of a couple. They should not be seen as an obligation to behave indiscreetly. Be a little crazy, but keep the party safe and in good taste to get your wedding celebrations off on the right foot.
“Stress Free, Leave the Details to Me,” is the tried and true philosophy of Robbin Montero, California Wine Country wedding planning expert and owner of A Dream Wedding. Robbin is the premier wedding planner in the Northern California Wine Country, transforming any vision into the perfectly designed wedding creation. Robbin and her weddings have been featured in The Knot, Brides, Elite Magazine, Your Wedding Day and Vine Napa/Sonoma magazines, and ImportantOccasions.com. Travel & Leisure magazine calls Robbin, “The expert wedding planner in the California Wine Country.” www.a-dreamwedding.com
©2009 Robbin Montero
This article cannot be reprinted without Robbin Montero’s expressed written permission.
Robbin Montero is a wedding coordinator and special events planner in Northern California.
©2006 Robbin Montero
This article cannot be reprinted without Robbin Montero's expressed written permission.